January/February, 2004

By LISA J. GOTTO
The Style Supper Club

BETHLEHEM TWP., PA -- It so happened one night that a friend and I thought it would be great to go out and catch up with each other after work. We wanted some place close that wasn't one of those places that a woman wouldn't want to go alone and we didn't want a shot and a beer place either.

We decided on blue, grillhouse and winebar, that's "blue," with a small "b," on William Penn Highway in Bethlehem Township. As we sat and sipped, we noticed several individuals trickling in and taking seats around the bar, males and females. We also noticed some glances being exchanged and drinks being sent, and we started to wonder, how are single people over 30 meeting and mingling these days in the valley?

And we couldn't think of a better way to find out than to invite a few Valley singles to the Lehigh Valley Style Supper Club table and ask what they're doing in their quest for love. We couldn't think of a better place to bring everyone together than the site of the original idea, blue, with its sleek and chic metropolitan-inspired décor and ambiance.

Love and the extra terrestrial
Our handsome group met for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres in front of blue's cozy, but contemporarily cool fireplace and swapped backgrounds and pleasantries. Our waiter offered a concoction created specifically for our evening, the Flirtini! A lip-licking blend of vodka, sparkling wine and Chambord. Our conversation blended well with the rattle of the cocktail shaker. By the time we entered our private glass-enclosed dining room, our group had become familiar enough with one another to start swapping their dating horror stories.

"ET…this guy looked like ET!" says Christine Kiltie of Bethlehem, of a blind date set up through a well-intentioned friend. "He had the weirdest shaped head!" This seems to be somewhat of a shared experience as everyone at the table laughs. It turns out that there isn't one good blind date story in the room. There are, however, lots of laughs and tales of good intentions, of women with whining issues, and of grown men who still suck their thumbs!

As we gather opinions on the prospect of love at first sight, out waiter, Tim presents us with a choice of Long Island Blue Point Oysters, a chef's soup duet, or a hearts of Palm salad with a sun-dried tomato vinaigrette for an appetizer.

(Of note: our appetizer menu seem perfectly paired for our discussion of romance with its hears of Palm, a duet of soups and well, we all know what those oysters are for).
"I was in love with George Clooney the first time I saw him!" muses Style staffer, Marissa Hazzard.

Sans the Clooney quote, the group is in agreement that there is really no such thing as love at first sight. We do agree, however, that there can be "spark at first sight," or that most times you can tell at first sight whether there's a chance for some chemistry, and hopefully things will proceed naturally from there.

My Blue Point Oysters are bathed in a trio of mild to kickin' salsas. However, the hearts of Palm salad on the plate next to mine looks inviting. I'm just not familiar with Palm as something you eat, but I am fortunate enough to be seated next to a culinary expert and chef, Steve Kershner. Kershner explains that the heart of the Palm is a very tasty plant that you can do a lot with. It makes a wonderful accompaniment to any type of salad and is also great when smoked salmon is wrapped around it as an appetizer.

Love and the cover charge
The topic of singles bars, per se, is greeted with much disdain, and not just because it conjures up images of leisure suits and cheesy mustaches, but because this is a new day and time.

For one thing the aspect of drinking in singles bars and then driving home is definitely a non-starter with our group. No one feels they can afford to get slapped with a DUI and not be able to pick their kids up from play practice or get themselves to work.

Also, as in any region there are places you can patronize where you'll be sure to find a lot of single gals and guys…of the twenty something crowd. As usual the music's so loud you can't talk, the place is so crowded you can't walk and the ambiance is a palm tree.

Kiltie says it's easy to meet someone when you're in your twenties. "But where are all the forty and fifty year-olds?" Our group is at a loss for an answer to her question.

We acknowledge that while we do still want to have fun, the basic philosophy of why we go out and socialize has changed.

"I think that's the difference, because when we were in our 20's, it was easier. When we get older our values change, but back then we didn't care. We went out just to have a good time and knew everyone else wanted that too," says Kershner. "Now I really don't want to go that route so it becomes more difficult."

The subject of pick-up lines is also an unpopular topic among the group. No one endorses using them. Greg Dahlgren, a high-end homebuilder from Northampton, says it's tough going out on your own, and approaching women at all.

"It's hard enough to just walk up to someone, period…and then you have to come up with a line," says Dahlgren.

Kreshner says he does not use them because, "….they always come out [sounding] really bad."

Obviously, the lack of opportunities to meet quality singles is a pervasive problem not just inherent to our region.

"The singles scene is the same no matter what city you're in or what town: It can either be great or it can be lousy," says Kiltie.

Love and the great unknown
Even so, it was not without trepidation that our tablemates joined our soirée. Maggie Schaffer, a Realtor residing in Bethlehem admits to having cold feet.

"I was thinking even right before leaving about calling in sick," says Schaffer of her Supper Club invitation. Not knowing what to expect, she says she needed a little encouragement. That encouragement came in the way of another invited guest whom she car-pooled with.

"I said no way was she calling in sick," laughs Kiltie.

Great timing for our entrée choices to arrive: Wasabi pea and sesame encrusted Ahi tuna with a sweet Thai chili sauce, colossal crabmeat cakes, lightly seasoned and served with remoulade and a 12-ounce filet mignon. Each entrée was expertly paired with the perfect palate-pleasing vintage, a service blue is known for.

Schaffer now admits she is quite content in her surroundings and wishes there were more opportunities to get together in a relaxed atmosphere like ours and meet people with mutual interests and objectives.

We conclude that knowing what you want is only half the battle because then you have to find out what they want. This is rarely clear, especially right off the bat.

And that first date: does it necessarily have to be a make or break situation? Terry Bleiler, an assembly line supervisor from Breinigsville, queries about that most auspicious of occasions.

"Is it appropriate to take a woman to a fine dining restaurant on a first date?" asks Bleiler.

My female counterparts and I are incredulous. Bleiler continues that he recalls a specific instance of taking a young woman out for an evening of fine dining. He says the night seemed to have gone quite well. Only later did he find out that the young woman felt he made too much of a "big deal" of the first date.

We agreed the young woman was probably just too immature to truly appreciate the refined evening he planned, and that there are plenty of women who prefer that type of evening to a first date at a corner pub.

Chris Trux, an executive manager from Bethlehem explains she is sympathetic to the plight of men in the dating scenario and describes her idea of a great first date is something casual.

"Just a movie and a burger, whatever," says Trux, who feels it's important to keep sky-high expectation levels in check.

Love and the three-minute date
All Magic Date balls and questions aside, we agreed that getting what we want starts with knowing what we want and being able to communicate that effectively.

"I'm single by choice, but sometimes it's just nice to have company," says Kiltie.

"I want to be with somebody. I want to be married. I want that life," says Schaffer convincingly.

But what if you have only three minutes to convey everything you'd like a potential suitor to know about yourself? Enter the phenomena of speed dating. The Bar with NO Name in the Holiday Inn, Bethlehem offers the new meeting option, speed dating. Our group found this to be an interesting concept, with some admitting to enough curiosity that they wanted to just go for a night to survey the proceedings.

An innovation that grew out of metropolitan singles scenes like New York, speed dating puts you in a large room with other singles. It's like a musical chairs game of sorts where you sit across a table from a member of the opposite sex and have the opportunity to quiz them on their relationship potential, and again perhaps, to see if there's a "spark."

"I think that's great!" says Kershner who commented that it's a good way to at least screen people, although you do have to rely on the candidates being honest with you.

Interested parties need apply on Thursday evenings at the Bar with No Name in the Holiday Inn Conference Center on Route 512 in Bethlehem. Registration begins at 6 pm.

Love and the T1 connection
My role as Miss Match is quite fulfilling as I am sensing sparks fly, perhaps it's just the flicker of our table votives, nonetheless, I press on. Who has ventured into the online dating world? Show of hands? Why does no one want to comment when the word is this option is working for some people?

"I do know a woman who met a guy from London and it worked out," says Kiltie. There is a general feeling that there are too many liars and psychos online, and that all in all it's just too impersonal.
"That's the problem with it," says Dahlgren. "You can type something in, but you'll never know what a person's personality is really like doing that."

We are now enjoying the choice of decadent desserts Tim our waiter is plying us with: The Chocolate Godiva, a volcano of sorts with molten fudge inside, or an ever-luscious Crème Brulée.

We decide, why choose? We share forkfuls as we continue our talk of love along the information superhighway. We agree the innovation of email is very convenient, we concede, once a relationship has been established. It helps make up for phone calls we may not have time to make during our busy days, although we are adamant it certainly does not replace the human voice and certainly not the human touch.

We've come to the conclusion we have eaten too much and we linger over coffee for quite some time, some longer than others. Rumor has it that some matches were made that evening. Will they be in need of our Weddings in Style supplement in this very issue? Perhaps. Nonetheless this Miss Match feels content in playing cupid at least for one night.

Bon soir, mes ami!

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Wasabi Pea & Sesame Seed encrusted Ahi Tuna Steak with Thai Chili Sauce

Courtesy James Martin-Director of Operatoins
Blue grillhouse and wine bar
Serves 4

(4) 8 oz. Ahi Tuna Steaks (about 2" thick)
1 cup Wasabi Peas coarsely chopped in food processor
2 Tbs. black sesame seeds

Combine peas and sesame seeds and mix well. Gently coat tuna steaks with Wasabi Pea mix.

Sauce:
16 oz. prepared sweet Thai chili sauce
2 oz. molasses
2 oz. red wine vinegar
4 oz. fresh-squeezed lime juice
1 Tbs. minced garlic
1 Tbs. minced ginger
¼ cup fresh chopped cilantro

Combine above ingredients thoroughly and heat for serving. Heat 4 oz. olive oil in large skillet until hot. Place tuna steaks in hot skillet. Sear tuna about 1 minute on each side until medium rare. Place on dinner plate and drizzle with sauce. Serve immediately.

The LV Style Signature Flirtini
1 and ½ oz. Grey Goose Vodka
1 and ½ oz. sparkling wine
½ oz. Chambord
½ oz. Pineapple

Fill shaker with 2/3 ice, the vodka, wine and Chambord and shake well
Strain into chilled martini glass
Garnish with champagne grapes and a wedge of pineapple